Topic: Rambling on
I allways wanted to be a writer when I was young, I wrote in my diary, I wrote my fantasies down & mde them stories. bound them in a way & kept them...I had less problem with people reading my diaries than I did with people reading my stories. Diaries dealt with concrete reality. The stories were how I wished things were & because of that were more embarassing. I treasure my diaries from the past it enables me to go back & look at the person I was when I first came to VA... I found a meeting of someone I still know today in there... I'd forgotten how we met & it was very amusing to re-read it! I also find the diaries very useful when having problems with my oldest at 16 she is sure she's all set to go forth into the world & conquer or at least do better than 'dumb old mom' & I can look back & remember feeling that way too (although I know I'm nowhere near as unhinged as my own mother was when I was 16) But it still gives me insight into how it is to be 15 & 16 years old again
The stories became a sore point.. I wrote them right up untill 1993 or so & in 1996 my ex read some I'd written when I was in VA & he was in NC & we were not together... these stories did not cast him in a flattering light & represented me moving on & finding someone else.. he did not take kindly to them & really threw a fit.. took my writing down being with someone else to mean I had been with someone else (not the case- I've allways lived a lot more fully in my head than in the real world) it took weeks of pleading, cajoling & begging to make him understand & speak to me again (man he WAS high maintainance & I do not miss that bit at all) so we carried those stories thru 2 more moves, 1 in MA & 1 down to VA & he convinced me to burn them at the house in Va in 1998... We really did need the paper for kindling at the time but still, I wish I'd said no now... I would love to read them over now! Although I have my doubts as to how much I could stand it! I was given to the romantic back then & I also assumed I'd lose weight once I got out of my mothers house. now at 37 I've found it's a whole lot bigger issue than I previously belived! But that part is neither here nor there, I haven't got anywhere near the capacity to read soppy romantic crap anymore so I probably would have trouble reading the writings my former teenage & young adult self put out!