Topic: Rambling on
No really I was the original goth chick, (see Below) when I was a teenager in the 80's, I wore black eyeliner, rock tshirts & ripped up jeans (before they were trendy) I listened to heavy metal & hard rock exclusively & did not smile, I had either long hair down over my eyes or my hair was cut the same 2 inch length all over. I was always tuned into a walkman wether it was fm or tapes (most of mine had both options- & belive me I went thru quite a few of those babys) I had this amusing (to me) suicide poem over my bed, there were few girls like me back then & even fewer who 'got' me. (thanks Chris) I can remember my grandmother bemoaning me quite often 'if you have to wear black shirts would you at least wear a black bra - so your decent white one doesn't turn gray' My mother mostly just ignored my look & focused on my mind - or trying to get me to learn more accurately. I know she despaired of me ever amounting to anything. My father for his part told me to watch the movie Badlands as a warning, I loved it & he predicted that I'd turn out just like Sissy Spacek's character. Honestly I was rather insulted in spite of myself but I could see where he was coming from!
At times, when I had to go to a family party, during the holidays, or when I went to stay with my Uncle & Aunt in Haverhill at a historical landmark I felt like I was doning a costume & getting into a role- the role of sweet teenager who likes puppys, babys & kittys etc- has stuffed animals on her bed & flowers on her sheets... although I was way out of that from 14 onward...If I thought I could have gotten away with it I'd have dyed my sheets black. I had a black light & many rock posters, wall, ceiling door, everything was papered with rock stars & their...uh, socks.
I sent an Xmas card out this year with a fairy on it, I thought it was beautiful, she was in pale teal & holding a red gift wrapped in green ribbon... & my mother told me it didn't look like 'me' I suppose she still sees me at 15,16 etc. I was a little insulted at first that my mother didn't think it represented me. but really, she doesn't see that much of me & I am awfully conflicted about what I like, or it's not that I'M conflicted it's that the things I like are major contrasts, I like old music like Simon & Garfunkle & the Beatles, I like Godsmack & Audioslave & Rem & Pearl Jam, & everything in the range between them (just not country or rap or dance music) & I can play, but seldom listen to classical music. I like Grateful Dead stuff, tie dye & I like Antiques & beautiful things, plus I like having a larger television (27 inches- in 2 more years I'm going to 36- I think) & I have a dolby digital surround sound & know how to use it- but I've been here 9 months & have yet to put up the speakers, they're just grouped on top of my dvr. I like Faires & study Wicca (too much involved in the practice, If I was independently wealthy & didn't have to go to work 40+ hours a week I'd be wiccan.) I love reading historical novels & modern ones, (not too much on Scifi though) I feel funny (have withdrawls my daughter calls it) if I don't watch the news every night but the only network tv shows I care about can be counted on less fingers than the average hand has (Medium, My name is Earl & Ghost Whisper) the first time I read the Lord of the Rings trillogy I was 8 years old & I am constantly surprised at how few other women have read them. If there's not music playing in the back ground there had better be one hell of an interesting conversation going on. I still would not mind going back 150 years & living like my Grandmother's ( & 1 of my) favorite artist/authors Tasha Tudor depicts. But I've hung my clothes on a clothesline in 3 of 4 seasons for 8 years (actually in truth, the first year back here in VA we were poor enough I hung clothes in winter too! & I have not actually gotten around to getting a clothesline put up here at the new house) but I am just like that. I like what I like & belive what I belive & who cares if certain parts conflict with other parts (well, my 16 year old daughter does- but I just tell her it makes for a more faceted personality & to get over it!)
I was the original goth chick!
You're a true goth. You see all the wonders and beauties around you that others seem to be blind to. Don't let anyone get you down, you are truely beautiful.
& you? find out at: http://quizilla.com/
Posted by Becky at 1:50 PM EST