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Friday, February 24, 2006
What Goes Around Comes Around
Mood:  incredulous
Now Playing: in my head: The 59th street Bridge Song, aka Feelin' Groovy
Topic: Family Business
& Why am I feeling groovy???
Well, as allways, I am happy when I'm vindicated & oh man I am so vindicated today.
Last night I got home from work after working an hour of overtime (trying to make up for missing work on 2/12 due to snow.)& was tired, I decided to just check my email, post something I already had typed up & go to bed. Well I don't allways check my junk email but I happened to & surprise surprise there was a little note from mrs'sc'this is my ex husbands current wife! So I checked it out with no little trepidation, for all I knew she could have found out & been mad about our little indiscretion back in 2001 after we'd been seperated for over 6 months. He had told me she knew about it but with him if you divide what he tells you in half & then that half is divided again you're probably close to the truth. which is the same reason when he told me over instant messenger that they were seperated & had been for 6 months already I was a little skeptical. Well her note was amusing to me who has been through hell & high water in the 9+ years my ex & I were together & more hell since he has been gone. It turns out they are seperated. he's in Kuwait she says but this is an emotional seperation not just the physical one imposed by his millitary silliness. And ooohhh is she PISSED!!! It turns out he had fed her a bunch of B.S told her I was a psycho & that he was always faithful to me (she pointed out that she 'finds it hard to believe that he never cheated on you for 10 years and then gets with me and he can't keep his dick in his pants.' With apologies to S because she never saw him coming & I can't fault her- she didn't know anything about him except what he told her- (Though the fact that his own mom barely speaks to him is telling) I have to laugh out loud, every time I think about it I just giggle.. She apologized to me because he told her when they met that we'd been legally seperated for over a year already (try 4 months & 2 months after that & into their relationship he came here & tried to get back together with me - with him in Illinois at the time with her. & I & the kids in VA I guess he figured he could pull it off.- that's the previosly mentioned indiscretion I was worried about her knowing about...lol) I resolved her worries on that since I really didn't care, luckily he didn't have me so snowed after 9+ years of living with him that I couldn't see even after only 6 months with out him that I was a lot better off without him. (Just the steady paycheck that I brought in was better than his work 6 weeks, take 2 months off & go back to work when we were about to starve to death or loose the electricity mode of work) So she asked me a lot of questions on what exactly went on during my marriage & how he acted during it & since then. I only answered a few last of her questions night partly because of being tired partly because after all this time I don't fully trust him enough to belive that he hasn't put her up to this to get me to say unpleasant things about him or get close enough to her to say or do something which he could use against me in trying to take my kids away from me. (don't roll your eyes - I'm not paranoid, the spring before last (2004) he called his whole family individually & tried to get each of them to come to my trailer while I wasn't home & make a list of everything wrong with it, take pics of the falling down ceiling & sagging floors so he could use them to 'prove I was keeping his kids in unsafe living conditions' never mind that he insisted we move there & lived there for 16 months with us before he left me!! never mind that he had not paid a cent of child support in 3 years at that point! Lucky for me his family knows him & has been here watching me go thru all I've been thru & they know the real deal on all of this & told him hell no & within 12 hours I got 4 phone calls from different people in his family letting me know about this attempt on his part to wreak havoc. Anyway, I don't trust him any further than I can throw him & am not entirely convinced that it's not all an elaborate ruse on his part as I said!! So I'm taking it slow... emailing back with a few little things, all in the distant past & other than mentioning how much the kids & I love the new house I bought with my own income last spring barely mentioning the present. I do feel for her, this is not the first time I've been in this position. The girl he left me for whom he left when he went into the Navy came to me a few weeks after he had left upset about his lack of attention & it turned out when we did get letters they were nearly identical. he told me he wanted to work things out & told her he wanted to marry her when he finished bootcamp! I am handling the whole thing a lot better this time, I take it all as an amusing story not anything to get emotional about at all- but I am 'feelin' groovy' just the same!

Posted by Becky at 10:08 PM EST
Updated: Friday, February 24, 2006 10:28 PM EST

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