Many thoughts, Little time
Now Playing: Limp Bizkit: Re-arranged
Topic: just letting off steam


I know I shouldn't complain, I know there's people all over the country out of work & worried & I should be happy (or at least thankful) for my good fortune. still though, if it's all the same to everyone (& it isn't) I'd really rather not work mandatory overtime.
*It makes me more tired.
*The reason I work 4 10 hour days is to eliminate the need to drive 27 miles each way for a 5th day, this saves me gas, wear & tear on the car, exaustion & aggravation.
*The frustration is increased by looking out the windows at work (small, up high & hard to see out of) & seeing the sun out & the sky blue & knowing it's beautiful & warm out & tommorow it's going to be no warmer than 35.
*They won't even tell us if this is the last week of m/o or not. it was supposed to be for 2 alternating weeks in January & then at the beginning of February they told us we had to do annother 2 weeks. they're now not commiting to it being over, they're telling us they 'should' know wednesday if we have to do more.
*When I try to explain to people in management that I'm a single parent & my kids have no real, steady adult influence besides me all they ever say is 'oh if you're a single parent you should be here for even MORE over time than you're already pulling'
*I don't get the trash taken out, the laundry done on time, the meals cooked, the errands run or the sleep I need when I work an extra 4 hours a week.
*I have made the offer to work an extra hour a day after work instead of 4 hours on Saturday- well at least 2 out of 4 days a week - & belive me they need me from 8 to 9 pm most nights- But that's just not good enough.
*When I point out to people in management that I drive 40 minutes to work & the same to go home so it is wasteful to come in for 4 hours their response is that I should stay longer to 'make it worth the drive'
*I get a blank stare when I suggest that I have other things I need to do besides work
*Management also is trying to make it a requirement that we recruit- twisting it to fit their need 'if you all recruited people to work here you wouldn't have to do mandatory overtime'
*Annother blank stare recieved when I point out that most people I know either already work there or have been fired because of the companys punitive attendance policies.
*I won't even begin to address the job itself...it's not a lot of fun.
*The #1 reason I hate to work mandatory overtime is that we sat waiting for calls... all day, I had at least 3 minutes between calls & all this week while at work & other poor saps were there on m/o we sat available for even longer, for awhile Friday I waited 32 minutes between calls not just once but 4 times (I timed it)

OK enough complaining. In other news: I have yet to w/b to mrs sc since my initial 2 line note right after I recieved her first email. The more I've thought about it the less I like the feel of the whole thing. it still makes me laugh my head (& other parts) off. But I just see too much potential for mahem involved in my getting deeply involved with my ex husbands wife- or soon to be ex wife- yesterday during all that time waiting for people to lose signal or screw up their tvs & call in with snowy screens I wrote about 8 pages 'to' her. but that (except for a few clear & well known examples of the ex's true nature which I will transpose to an email for her) will go right in my journal. I told a friend at work who is 'sensitive' (shall we say) about the whole thing & with out knowing much more that I'm divorced & he might or might not be overseas the first thing she thought of was that telling mrs sc too much could hurt me later, especially thru the ex.
I don't mean I think it's a predeveloped plot (though I would NOT put it past him- he is very cunning & sneaky in ways most people don't even realize) I just can see she's mad & that she's out for blood (she's a scorpio. So is he for the record- I told him when he first told me about her that if they didn't rip each other to shreds they'd be unstopable) And I know how many chances I gave him in 9+ years. She's just beginning they're barely at 5 years. If they do work their issues out (& her second email told me she'd just recieved a letter from him asking for exactly that) I do not want anything I told her to be used by him or even on his radar screen (which is remarkably wide given his true eyesight)
The kids (9&6 at least) know none of this.They did ask the other day why Dad hadn't been on instant messenger lately (I have 2 theorys, supposedly he's been in Kuwait & was going to Iraq very soon- this is what he told me last time we I/M'd 2 weeks ago yesterday- so he may be in transit & not able to use his pooter for personal stuff. the other is that I gave him the link to my online photo album & it has a bunch of pics of my new house. he is a jealous s.o.b & I know how much seeing what I've acomplished with out him must get under his skin- his usual reaction to being jealous is to avoid & ignore so likely that's why we're not hearing from him)
Mr 6 is absolutley bottomless just what I've seen him eat today: cereal, ramenn noodles, peanut butter & jelly sandwich, peanut butter & jelly right out of the jars, chicken divan, pop tart & an apple.
Miss 9 came back for seconds on the chicken divan & she said 'do you want any more mom?
I said 'yes, please' she came thru the room I'm in & said 'I left you some' when I went to check she'd very generously left me 1 piece of broccoli & 2 cubes of stuffing!
16 reads the blog now so I have to be careful what I write (next mood swing 3 minutes- put your protective headgear on- anyone who's ever had a teenage girl knows what I mean) It's not enough that I have to request visitation with MY cell phone 12 hours in advance with a written notice of who I intend to call & how long I'll be (maybe I exaggerate a little!) now I have this phantom lurking over my shoulder while I'm online moaning: 'Are you almost done? how much longer will you be? don't you think you should take a break? DON'T WRITE THAT!!'
So I cede the computer to the evil 16 year old hormone machine, at least long enough to watch the news & take a shower...