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Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Topic: Rambling on

When I was younger (like 11) my room was supposed to be done in rainbows, my walls were going to be painted white & we were going to paint a rainbow on the wall. I was going to have rainbow sheets & a comforter etc. & the real reason for this was I was going to keep the room clean once the room was done, of course, I never got the room, my Grandmother sewed a rainbow of bias binding on the edges of a sheet & pillowcase for me & we found one of those paper rolls which unrolls into a rainbow & put that up on top of my red flocked wallpaper & that was about as far as the plans got, soon though the room was papered in rock posters, walls, ceiling, everything. 16 had a room with a rainbow on the wall once when she was 5, we painted the room blue, but the room ended up being a teal which looked more like the inside of a pool & then I made a perfect 5 foot rainbow on one wall, my ex painted a sun & clouds & we did trees in one corner where we hung her stuffed animal hammock. it was beautiful. we got kicked out not 6 months later. As usual, the ex wasn't working & we weren't paying rent, He was supposed to have been working on the apartment for part of our rent but my ex felt that gave him the right to not pay any rent at all! The new place is just about the same as it was on day one, the cupboards I intended to paint white are still brown, the cupboards which are sponge painted in blue & were supposed to have been white now too are still sponged. the dining room has this silly apple basket border around the top, 6's room is half painted blue (thanks to 16 who painted the half which is done & her own room lilac purple the day we bought the house) 6's room was supposed to be a spiderman theme, light blue, red & dark blue trim on doors & frames, & a spiderman movie cutout from my work, the cutout is in there but they've ripped his arm off & he's looking kindof worn. my living room is the same white it was when we moved in & I liked my bedroom the way it was so had no intentions of changing it anyway. 9 has changed her mind so many times about what she wants in her room that my head spins when I think about it, so she still has the paneling which was already up when she moved in. The only things about the trailer which I liked were my room which was a deep dark blue & the bathroom which was yellow with sunflower stencils, the bathroom here is a pale mauve with a rose stencil. all of the rooms here are ok, kind of neutral but ok. I just haven't had time for anything like what it would take to get a room painted or papered. Though I have had plenty of thoughts on what I'd like to do with the rooms. We shall see if I ever acheive what I want to do with them though.

Posted by Becky at 7:33 PM EST
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Time, Money & the ultimate time suckage machine! the computer
Now Playing: Funk # 49 by the James Gang
Topic: just letting off steam

So, monday is memory day on many of the blog sites I read, I would so love to have time to write a lot, I could dredge memories from my childhood all day, but so little time, why couldn't we have had a computer when I was a stay at home mom? the answer is clear & obvious, because I was a stay at home mom so there was only 1 income & that was patchy to say the least, work for 6 weeks & stay home for annother 8 or so was his usual way of working. I used to say it didn't bother me because my needs were less than his, I just wanted to have enough food & to keep the electricity & the rent paid up. (& even those small needs were not always so easy back then) Now I have enough, enough to make the ends meet at least, not always enough for new clothes when people are in growth spurts, or when my 3 year old sneakers are falling apart & beginning to stink! but there's always more overtime right? (I have set myself a goal of 4 hours in 2 weeks on the pay period where it's not mandatory & 6 on the pay period where it is mandatory- since I already have to do 4 hours the mandatory week) last night I reneged though because the weather was looking so bad, it was snowing & below 32 but when I left at 8 the roads were fine & at 9 when I would have left if I'd stayed for an extra hour it was still about the same, light snow, wet but not slick roads. so I could have stayed but you never know what the roads are like (unless it's summer) So for money I can do some overtime, but that brings me back to the never enough time thing, it's never an even balance, instead of asking for peace of mind about my life in my going to sleep affirmations (yes, I do this-) maybe I should be asking for balance!
2 hours later, ok so there's a nice diatribe about time & not enough of it & what have I been doing for the past 2 hours? I googled Owls as omens & the majority shows death & change so I have decided to not take the Owl as an omen, only as a guide (especially since nothing but my self esteem died last time I saw an Owl - see last night's entry-) then I read the blogs I read every day that I have time to do so & saw a new link on Open Book Jennifer's blog & clicked on it & that was it! it's a link for scrabble & you play by yourself & have been messing with it ever since!!! played 2 games & am itching to get back to the third, especially now that I have help from my 6 year old! I'm putting this link in the sidebar too but be warned if you like scrabble it's going to be addictive!

Posted by Becky at 3:40 PM EST
Updated: Tuesday, March 21, 2006 5:46 PM EST
More rambling
Now Playing: Pop Song 89 by REM
Topic: Rambling on
Owls, Owls, hmm, southern tradition holds hearing an owl means someone is going to die. nothing about seeing one though, that I can find anywhere, I know native american myth goes both ways, some say death like the appalachian tradition. others say good omen. The last time I saw an owl was 1992, my ex & 16 (who was 2 then) & I were driving from where he lived to where I lived (we're talking about 70 miles here folks,) My little one & I had gone to get him & then we took him back to where we lived. He & I were friends then, no one really belived that, everyone thought we were doing it but we weren't. quite, yet. I belive that was a friday night & that sunday night we had our first kiss- so it was close but not quite there. which leaves me feeling like an owl might not be too good a sign in the long run. But in the short run- if 7, 8, 9 years of ok, (some much better than others) times & 2 beautiful kids can be called the short run. I guess in the course of a life that many years could be called a short time. So the point here is I saw an owl on the way home tonight, it flew from one tree across the road to annother tree & was fairly large & very pretty. The one back in 92 was bigger & all white where this one was white & brown but both were impressive. in 2002 we had an owl in the pine trees behind the trailer & I'd hear it hooting in the middle of the night all that summer which I loved, I love wildlife, hawks, owls, I saw a fox a few weeks ago in the field with out the cows & llamas across the road from my house. The most interesting thing I ever saw like that was a hawk carrying a snake in it's talons, it flew over my car (only about 12-15 feet above the car. here in VA back in 1994. considering what that year was like for my ex & I it's no surprise that I would take that type of sight now as a bad omen but of course I'll probably never see anything like that again! (I hope) Deer I like but only when they wander by when I'm out in the yard, on the porch or in the house, (& they'd better not be in the garden!) I do not like to see them while driving & considering out of nearly 5 years at my job I have worked straight days (home at 330 or 530 in the afternoon) for only about 1 year (sept 2004 to sept 2005) & been driving at some time of night all the rest of the time (now is the earliest night time end of day I've had at 8 pm) & I have had plenty of close calls with deer, dogs, cats, opossoms, racoons, drunks & other nocturnal animals. I haven't hit too many considering the odds when you calculate all the nights I drive & have driven compared with my hit rate (2, neither were domestic animals, 1 opossom & 1 rabbit) so I'll be googling Owls tommorow to see what I can come up with!

Posted by Becky at 12:27 AM EST
Updated: Tuesday, March 21, 2006 12:38 AM EST
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Glad I'm not the one giving birthday parties for 1 year olds.
Now Playing: Been Awhile by Stained
Topic: Rambling on
The computer is getting funkier not better, I had a draft all ready to go the other night, I'd worked on it off & on for a few days because on work days I don't even walk in the door before 8:45 (this is why I have 3 days off though so it evens out) so I don't have a lot of time to spend online & like to have stuff ready to post with just a little bit left to do & this was looking good, I previewed it, made corrections, added a picture, previewed again, the picture looked good, I hit add & it disappeared. it just never showed up on the blog, I dunno if it was my computers fault or the site was having troubles but I was so annoyed I just shut it off & went to bed!!
It has been a hellish week of billing questions at work, they kept us doing what I described previously for 6 days, not 4 & then an hour before time to leave on Friday night they changed us back to regular calls & I was never so happy in my life! I woke up in the middle of the night Thursday & was all the way in the bathroom still having an argument in my head about a bill with someone I'd been dreaming about before I realized it was all a dream. I am actually looking forward to going to work tommorow because I don't have to struggle through billing calls. I just have to know all about tech.
Earler in the week I got an email invitation to my nieces first birthday party, I have 3 neices, 1 nephew & multiple cousins, step cousins etc. my ex's family is extended & moved here in 1994 because, in part, of my ex & I talking it up. I have had my regrets over the years off & on but they're very entertaining & in small doses (as long as you leave before the alcohol starts flowing or while it's flowing slowly) they're a lot of fun. I see less of them than when my ex was around but I like them better now. Only 1 of my sisters in law has bestirred herself to come see my new house, but in some ways that's better, if they don't know where it is they can't tell the ex. When we walked in Baby had just finished smearing herself with cake & was covered in chocolate. the other cousins were running around & playing & the adults were just standing around watching & quite a sight it was too, chocolate cake smeared everywhere, eyebrows, ears etc- I know it's form to do that, they let me once & all my kids got to do it too but ugh.... & the floor...the high chair. oh lord I don't miss that at all. (though I have my own messes, I bought a lamp for mr 6 because the overhead light doesn't work in his room anymore & the box & packaging are all over the floor & when I call to him to tell him to pick it up I get 'val helped me open it, let her pick it up') 16 doesn't deign to speak to most of the family because a cousin's daughter told lies (at least 16 says they're lies) about her about a year ago. so she sat in the car for awhile. Eventually though she decided to unbend & come say hi to everyone. Though she just glared at the little girl who may or may not have lied (little, well she's 14) Miss 9 was in her element, a 1 year old, a 4 month old & a 2 year old to play with, she's quite a baby person & loves the whole baby dolls, diapers, bottles stuff. Mr 6 was in his element as my only nephew is just 11 months younger than him & they have this amazing connection for kids who see each other on average of 3x a year. My brother & sister in law & I were discussing trying to get them together more though so I hope that will happen for 6's sake at least, though I do like my sister in law very well. Annother day gone completely, more stuff to do than time to do it in as usual, in a way I like the second half of the year better, this part of the year I can't take a day off because I'm saving them all for the summer when we go to Massachusetts, after the vacation's over I can take a day anytime I want to, though I found saving them 'till I had enough for 2 days together is better because that gives me 5 days off in a row. Very restful & the only things I have to save days off for are Halloween & Christmas! Leaving now to take a shower & relax for awhile with the kids before bedtime (for all of us) pic of mr 6 & his cousin::

Posted by Becky at 9:22 PM EST
Updated: Tuesday, March 21, 2006 12:29 AM EST
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Thirteen reasons I'm glad I don't live in my old Trailer Anymore
Topic: Thursday Thirteen

1 it was moldy
2 It was cold in winter & hot in summer
3 the neighbors were too close
4 the neighbors were too hateful, crazy, loud
5 the landlord was a jerk & kept raising the rent on the lot
6 the floors were falling through
7 the roof was falling in
8 the roof leaked
9 the kitchen window leaked
10 the tub was backed up most of the time
11 the kids were always fighting with the neighbor kids
12 the state troopers drove right by 2 or 3 times a day to get gas at the Vdot
13 my ex knew where we were & intended to use the place against me.

Posted by Becky at 12:01 AM EST
Updated: Thursday, March 16, 2006 10:30 PM EST
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
100 things about me
Topic: 100 things about me

39- My favorite Ice cream is chocolate, But if you have warm brownies or warm chocolate chip brownies vanilla ice cream melted over them is really good too.

38- when I was a kid I loved to cook, at 3 or 4 I'd follow my grandmother around the house with a bottle of vanilla just begging to 'make something'
by the time I was 11 I made dinner at least 1 night a week. when I was a housewife & my ex was working (or not working & we were on foodstamps- boy I do NOT miss those days!) I made lovely meals, now I hate to cook, a big mess, a big waste of time, I only cook the 3 nights a week I don't work & I usually have something heat & serve at least 1 of those nights.

37- My oldest likes to cook so on my work nights she usually prepares a reasonably good meal for the three of them, she tends to do things like hamburgers & french fries, roast chicken (one of my better recipies)

36- My youngest is the pickiest eater I have seen since my uncle who takes his family to lovely seafood restraunts & orders hot dogs for himself.

35- I've never broken a bone at all, though I have sprained an ankle a few times, always the same one, the right one.

34- As a teenager I had a black eye liner fetish (I still maintain I was the original goth child) now if I put on mascara (the only make up I can see the point of because my eyelashes are invisible with out it) it's usually because I'm bored at work on the phone & it's often at least 1/2 way thru the day.

33- I just found an old friend, she's been on my mind for about a month now & I thought of her about 10 times today, so I googled her & located what may be her phone & address & is almost definitley her work email & phone #. I'm so excited, I chose the email becuase it's been almost 5 years since I've talked to her & I'm shy. Calling someone who might be the person I haven't talked to in so long or might not be them makes me feel sick to my stomach.

32- I was especially thinking of my friend in the context of my oldest daughters birth, this friend was there for that, she was my lamaze partner & held my daughter right away after she was born. She came along because she had a fear of childbirth & thought seeing a birth would allay her fears, she almost fainted because she wasn't aware there would be blood.

31- I am definitely a nocturnal creature, I can just run on about any subject at 1 am but at 1 pm I feel constrained to type anything at all.

30- I have had many different shifts at my work & have pestered them to put on a third shift for nearly 5 years now, I would love to work from 11 or so right thru the night (though people who do so tell me I would not like it at all) My favorite was 4:30 to 1 am. (not counting my current shift which is 9 am to 8 pm & I never work more than 2 days in a row which I love) I especially liked it on weekends because I could spend the whole day with the kids & then when it was going on time for dinner I went to work.

Posted by Becky at 12:01 AM EST
Sunday, March 12, 2006
Now Playing: Cold (but I'm Still here) Evan's Blue

I have been a reader for as long as I can remember, if it's written I'll be reading it, I know the names of every street name between here & work & every street name between my old trailer & work & also between the trailer & here. I can't not read most of the time, I have read & know the name of every attraction & resturant between here & Massachusetts. I'm actually considering going there by a different route this summer so I'll have something new to read & look at.
Acording to my mother I taught myself to read, I went to a very loose alternative school the teacher thought my mother was teaching me to read & my mother thought the teacher was teaching me (didn't you just love the 70's?) & no one supposedly actually taught me I just started reading. I remember 1 book they had there. It was full of optical illusions. Like where you look at a grid & if you stare long enough, dots show up in the boxes in the grid.
That was where I learned the life lesson that if the male of the species leaves the seat up & you don't look first you're going to be sorry. I also heard the phrase 'mind your own beeswax' there first. we were all scandalized that Linda had said it too As I remember. The next Free School that I went to I didn't do much but read & play. I read a LOT of books there as they had extensive collections of them & if I wasn't reading I was outside in their extensive fields, woods & water. (about the only thing I learned there was how to make chocolate chip cookies, gingerbread houses & to add long numbers)When my mother took me out of school & taught my brother & I at home little changed for me, I read nearly constantly & if I wasn't reading I was outside a lot of the time (though my mother did at least teach me math & I disected a frog & a worm once!)
At home I had lots of books, my father read Dr seuss & little golden books to me, my grandmother shared her Tasha Tudor collection with me (still many of my favorites) as I got older my father read me the Little House on the Prarie series & then I went on to read on my own, I re-read that series & then took on the Hobbit & the Lord of the Rings trilogy, I started at age 8 & read them cover to cover, over the next 5 or so years I was always reading them, I'd finish The Return of the King & start the Hobbit back over. unlike some people I like to have multiple books going at the same time. I will read something for awhile & then take a break & go on to something else then come back to the first one, I also like to have fiction & non going at the same time. (though my non fiction is usually on the occult or ghosts or divination, I know many people would consider those subjects fiction too!)
My mother despaired of me when I was younger, she felt I was reading beneath my level, because along with Tolkien I was reading Beverly Cleary's Ramona books (There were less back then)Trixie Belden mysteries, Half Magic by Edward Eager, The Witch Family (both of these last I have copies of for my kids) Finnaly (in my mothers opinion at least) I discovered adult books, I read the Thorn Birds at 10 & I remember my Grandmother being horrified that I was reading it because it was 'racy' (the racy parts were my favorites) I really loved Stephen King & I read the Clan of the Cave Bear series & so many other books I can't even begin to list them all. Annother favorite in recent years is Stephen Kings Wife Tabitha King, Pearl, One on One & Survivor rank as some of my favorite books. Last week I finished a series of 6 books, the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon & it was almost like ending a love affair - there is supposed to be at least 1 more, maybe 2 more in the series but I think -from reading the website- that I'll have to wait for her to WRITE them!! In order to get the last book cheap I joined a book club & so got to pick a few other books, I got a few nonfiction & a cookbook but I also picked up Stephen King's newest book Cell & I've already finished it. It was small by King's standards & was very intense & had a typical King ending in which you don't really know how it ends. Left me wanting more shall we say. I loaned it to a co-worker immediately after finishing it & now am on the prowl for more books, I find it hard to read certain books after other books, after Outlander I wanted anything but historical fiction because nothing else could measure up to what I'd been immersed in for almost 6 months. After a Stephen King everything else I have available & waiting to be read either seems tame (Lee Smith. a very entertaining southern writer who writes about the area I live in most of the time. or Douglas Coupland's new one which I have to be in just the right mood to read. he's tough for me to take unless I'm in the right mood.) Oh well, tommorows a day off from work, maybe I'll find something for $.50 at goodwill! Seriously though I'd love some suggestions!

Posted by Becky at 11:22 PM EST
Updated: Friday, March 17, 2006 11:22 PM EST
And I thought things were bad before!!!
Now Playing: Where it's At By Beck
Topic: just letting off steam

For today & the past 2 days I worked before that. My co-workers (on our 'team' all 13 of us)Have been on a special call path, they're trying a new voice response setup & so when you call in & 'tell' the machine what you want to do it then sends you to me so I can ask you again what you're calling for & track it on a computer form & resolve your problem- if I'm able, I don't speak spanish after all!. This makes for aggravated people, a lot of people who don't speak english or follow instructions well & a LOT of billing calls. On my average day as a 'normal' advanced tech agent I take 55+ calls & maybe have 1 call where they ask for my supervisor in a week or 2, I & everyone on my team is getting 4 or 5 calls a day where they want our supervisor. It's telling on everyone & I for one, would much rather explain how to wire 10 decoder boxes than explain why we're charging what we're charging for 'that crap you call programing' which is what I hear all day now. The original rumor was that we'd be doing this for 2 weeks, my Boss told me yesterday late in the day - when I went to get him for my 5th escalated call of the day- that it's looking like monday may be the last day- The plus side of this is that we're waiting aprox. 5 minutes between calls most of the time & sometimes a lot longer than that.
Stupidest thing I heard today: Me: ok, press the menu button on the remote, do you see the main menu?
Me: now press 6, 1 & 5.
C: my tv's not interactive yet. I guess I can't do this.
Me: no, sir, on the remote, use the remote.
(he thought I meant on the tv screen, not on the remote. now most people use the number pad on their remote daily to enter channel numbers don't they?)
The other striking thing, which I had forgotten since most of my callers normally have been transferred to me by someone who couldn't help them, is how little respect people have for you when they think you might just be the operator & will need to direct their call to someone else. I had a couple people assert that I must be lying to them about my credentials & say essentially, that because I answered the phone I couldn't possibly know enough to help them.
One of my co-workers put this whole (ugly) experience in this context: On one hand it's nice that the company thinks so much of us that they assume we can handle anything callers throw at us. On annother it's upsetting to think they had to pull level 2 & 3 agents off their normal splits to take these calls because we're the only ones they can be sure can handle getting every possible kind of call under the sun & filling out a computer form on every single call without taking 3 calls an hour!
The whole thing takes me back, my first year & 1/2 there I took calls like this all the time, just whatever was thrown at me. since then we got away from the all purpose agent (the people who handle billing all the time were terrible at tech- though those of us who learned tech first don't have all that much trouble with billing- go figure!)
ok, that's enough diatribe about my boring Job! I should know better than to write on work days!

Posted by Becky at 11:01 PM EST
Saturday, March 11, 2006
Good Day Sunshine
Now Playing: More than a feeling By Boston
Topic: Rambling on

***Disclaimer: this is not 2 in one day, I wrote what I wrote late last night & I just happened to get it posted right after midnight, really the post below should have been for friday***

Once again, it's happend, I had everything nearly set to go on a lovely little thing about reading & my relationship with it, (let's just say reading should be having me arrested as a stalker) & the Damn Computer went out again, Y'know, when I started typing on my blog I thought, 'you should type it on notebook first' & I shrugged it off, typical of me I thought it would be a short thing, just a few lines about reading. Sure enough though, I ran on at some length & then when moving between one screen & my email which I'm reading intermitently I got an error & mozilla shut down entirely, leaving me looking at notebook which I had up because I was also working intermitently on some other things. so, if I'd been on notebook I would not have lost my writings, oh well.
I did have a good day though, it was beeaaauutiful outside today 72 & sunny with a nice breeze, I hung a clothesline & hung clothes on it (I was motivated to do this because I thought the dryer was not drying, it turns out the washer is not spinning the clothes so the dryer could not get them dry because they were so wet & the local appliance repair guy had his answering machine turned off so now it's going to be at least Tuesday before I can get anything done about the washer- oops trying to focus on the GOOD here Becky!) I was aided by 16 & her friend who was over & with all of us pulling on it I think we got the tension right on the line so it won't sag too bad (can't tell right now because the clothes out there currently are so soaked they're three times as heavy as they'd normaly be.) Then the girls went with the weed whacker to the garden & took down some of the old dead weeds which choked my garden out at the end of the year last year. They didn't have much luck though because they said they needed a rake to do much so I have to get a rake next week... We surveyd my creek area to see how/where I'd like to landscape it into a garden/rest spot, I found there's a large rock outcroping there which forms (or may have been formed into) a natural seat. Man, it's nice that I'm in slightly better shape this year & can go down there & come back up with out too much huffing & puffing. I was going to get a bench to put down there in a mail order catalog but I may hold off because theres a lot to be done before I could even put in a bench, the trees are all pines & the branches stick out all over them & are dead because someone just let the trees grow up there & they're very tall so the top branches are all green but the first 10 feet up is broken, bare dead branches just sticking out all over, someone cleared some of it maybe 2 or 3 years ago but left the sticks they cut where they lay so that's all got to be picked up. & then closer to the water I'd have to do more cutting & I don't have a chainsaw or anything like that (yet) I can hear people who know how clumsy I am shuddering at the thought of a chain saw in my hands! trust me, I've gotten a lot steadier- I've noticed I'm a lot less clumsy when I'm around people who just accept me & don't judge me at all (my ex, my parents, certain friends) I first discovered this when my friend Jennie from Haverhill came with me to the south shore for a weekend at my parents house because we were going to do a craft show & she was shocked at how clumsy I was all weekend. I thought about how she kept remarking on it when it was just business as usual for me & I decided that it was being in my home (from age 2 to 17 with occasional sojurns back at 18, 19 & 20) & feeling my parents disaproval of me in general. Jennie had known me for about 7 years at that point but had only known me in Haverhill where I lived with my uncle & aunt or with my grandmother all of whom are a lot more accepting of me than my parents ever were & so she aparently never saw me as clumsy. So back to my day, we went to get mail at the p.o. box & then to town because the little store by the post office didn't have salsa or sour cream. we had quesadillias for lunch out on the porch & then the girls went back to the garden to whack some more weeds & the little ones & I straightened out the shed a little. I hung my collection of liscence plates. thanks to my ex's family I have Florida & North Carolina thanks to R&J I have Missouri & Nebraska (a few of each thanks) & thanks to my ex & myself I have tons of Virginia & Massachusetts & New Hampshire. I also have a ton more VA plates from the previous tennants.
I did not fold to repeated requests to show everyone the bears head in the freezer, though I may do it next week & take a picture for my picture albums online. The brother of the guy who owned this house before me (The brother lived here with mom more than the owner did) shot this bear near Buffalo Mtn a few years ago & has kept it wrapped in a trash bag in the big chest freezer out in the shed - this freezer is big enough that if my ex comes around I could store him in it if things went poorly....lol- & he has not come back to claim the bear head yet (may 26 it will be a year) I know he was saving to pay to have it professionally stuffed so I don't mind, I don't think my electric bill is all that much higher due to the freezer & it's nice to know if I ever have a bunch of extra money I could stock up on groceries & store them out there. (I have yet to even fill the freezer in the spare fridge in my garage. though I've come close a few times.) So then I made a nice beef roast for dinner with souper rice & green beans & have been online ever since.
I'll finish up with a funny thing someone sent me as an email:

Things to say to telemarketers
The police photographer is still here, and the county medical examiner
hasn't released the body to the coroner yet. Can you call back a little later?
What's that you say? Speak up, please, will you? The battery has run down
on my hearing aid.
Louder, please, louder. Is that the best you can do? I'm afraid we're just
not communicating.I'm gonna have to put you on hold. The baby is due any minute now. Quick someone, get some hot water. Lots of it. Sorry, gotta
hurry now, don't go away.
Oh, it's you again. I was hoping you'd call back. The better business people
said I need more positive identification to file my complaint.Now first
let me have your name and telephone number...

Posted by Becky at 10:22 PM EST
100 things about me
Now Playing: Incubus: Wish you were here
Topic: 100 things about me
49- I have a very vivid dream life- many of my dreams are of annother place which looks like real places I know but subtly different. I've been having dreams like this for as long as I can remember & so imagine my surprise when I was reading a book on mysteries of the world last summer & found someone who had documented a similar dream world, his name was Robert Monroe & there's a whole institute (in Virginia) dedicated to dreams & brain waves & astral travel (some of the stuff is a little extreme) He documented 3 different 'Locales' in which our dreams take place.

48- Part of my plan at this point in my life is to live here untill my kids are all grown up & have their own lives (I have hope that this happens someday- though I know there's lots of kids who never leave) & then sell the house (at a profit of course), get a small rv & see the country. I'll be too old to be a groupie by then but at least I can see the sights.

47- My parenting style is very laid back- untill the house is a mess. The kids always look shocked when after 3 or 4 reminders in a perfectly calm tone of voice that the living room needs to be cleaned up & they're still messing around or chasing each other from 1 room to annother, when I lose it & start yelling that the living room needs to be cleaned up now or they'll lose their tv privleges for the next week. Sometimes I wonder if I'd get them to do stuff sooner if I started with the yelling instead of starting with the calm, reasoned stuff. (that's how the ex got things done- he calls my style of parenting 'letting the kids walk all over you')

46- I find it hard to belive I am as old as I am, I still don't feel too far away from 19, of course I was old for my age as a teenager, so I've been the same for a long time.

45- I always wanted to birth at least one of my kids at home, my first I had no support for that, the other 2 their father was against it because he was premature he thought his kids would be premature (they weren't) I did get consent from a friend of his who was an emt to have my youngest at home & she was going to help & then we'd just have said the baby came too fast & when they came to get me in the ambulance it had been too late etc. but we moved to the other end of the county & it just wasn't going to be convenient.

44- a little over a year ago I wrote in a notebook, which I keep at work & just found today, a list of things I wanted to have in my house, (this was before I started looking for a house, I just wanted some guidelines, ) I wrote, a bedroom for everyone, garden space, some sort of hill that I can landscape on (I know a semi public garden built on a hill which I'd love to pay homage to) A porch or deck, either attic, basement or shed storage, & not too far off a main road. I managed to get all of these in my home & I only looked at this house. I never set foot in annother house when I went shopping (there weren't that many & I had been looking online for months before- I knew before I even stepped on the property that I wanted the place!)

43- Spring flowers are my favorite, & my new bulbs are sprouting as we speak, (or as I type?)I never thought 50 crocuses would be enough & I was right, but even sparse as they are they're nice to see, the hyacinth & the tulips will be along presently. This fall I'll have to get more bulbs to plant to increase the flowers beside our walkway.

42- When I was a kid we had a little 2 room cottage behind our house, with no electricity or running water, my mothers great uncle had lived there by himself when she was young, when I first started going out there all his stuff was out there still on built in shelves & stuff. The thing I remember most on those shelves was a birds skull. Later my Mother cleaned it out & when she started teaching us at home it was our school house, I could not stand to stay in there alone though, I just felt like someone was glaring at me & did not want me there

41- I used to have an entire collection of 'truly tasteless jokes' books. I loaned them to someone who promptly disappeared out of my life & took the books with her. I had read them over enough times that I really didn't need them anyway, I have an odd memory, if you ask me to tell a joke I'll have trouble coming up with one, if something jogs my memory in general life I have a hard time keeping my mouth shut & NOT telling the joke regardless of company etc. this used to drive my ex nuts; we'd be in bed at night & I'd think of a tasteless joke & just reel it off.. He would rarely actually laugh & always say 'what the hell made you think of that?' This has made me rather popular with my oldest's friends.

40- A friend once asked me when I listened to music did I pay more attention to the music itself or the lyrics, she, herself heard lyrics, her boyfriend at the time heard the music & didn't pay as much attention to the lyrics- (I'm sure he must have paid SOME attention to the lyrics) I had never really thought about it at that time, I just took it all as a package deal but now I find some songs I like the music more & some I like the lyrics more.

Posted by Becky at 12:02 AM EST
Wednesday, March 8, 2006
oooh weird
Now Playing: I'll stop the world & melt with you by Modern English, I love Sirrius alternative!
Topic: Rambling on

Weird things keep happening, I changed the picture to the left on here because It was hard to read the links over it, with dark lettering the bottom half blended in, with light lettering the top half blended, so I just changed the image. When I went to preview it, the computer showed my blog page with the writing & all but the writing seemed to be in latin! how odd! The cat got herself stuck between the screen door & the front door this morning, I was out on the porch reading in the sun. A good thing too because it's gone overcast this afternoon & if I'd waited 'til later which is my usual impulse when it comes to taking time out & reading I would have missed out on the sun & warmth, I mostly did it becuase I had only about 30 pages left in the book I'm reading & wanted to finish it up so I didn't have to drag it to work tommorow (big book & I hate to finish a book at work, especially if I finish during lunch or heaven forbid, first break, then I have nothing to do all the rest of the day) so I left the door part way open to let some air into the house & all of a sudden the cat's clinging to the screen & miaowing like mad. I opened the screendoor & pried her off of it & found she'd managed to shut the actual door tight behind her! she left mildly affronted at my request to know exactly what she thought she was doing. I think someone was here this morning too. I woke up to hear a car accelerating away from the house, since I live on a curve it could have just been someone accelerating aroung the curve, but it sounded like someone pulling out from in front of my house, nothing on my door though, if it were Jehovas witnesses they'd have left a tract, & it wasn't the sheriffs office with a summons, they'd have knocked until I woke up & answered -they know if the cars there so am I. Or they'd have left it on the door- they've done it before (I expect one will be coming eventually, I've been telling the ex to go to court to request visitation because I'm not going to agree to send the kids to Wisconsin for multiple days or even weeks & while he's supposed to be in Kuwait or Iraq he's also said he was going to go to court to have custody/visitation changed & has said he would have a leave in April or May or August or November- you can see why I don't take a lot of what he says very seriously- it's never the same story twice) The custody/visitation thing worries me but I have sat in court for hours on family court day -waiting my turn- & heard enough other people in front of the judge to know VA (or at least the judge here) does not allow non-custodial parents to take kids out of state & that they very seldom reverse a custody decsision once it's been done (& mine's been a done deal since December of 2001) so while I know, if I have to go to court for this eventually I will be sick as a dog over the whole thing but that other than allowing a schedule of visits supervised by my ex's Mother, Brother or other family - rather than the haphazard arangement of the same supervised visits which is what I have allowed previously- nothing much should change. Or maybe I'm just whistling in the dark?
So if someone was here, who? & why? Could have been the farmer who has a right of way on 1 corner of my land but it dosent look like he's been here, since the house was locked up tight I don't have to worry about anyone who might come take stuff (& I know a few people who might try) Then miss 16 has been text messaging me all day asking to come home, not because she's sick or anything, because she 'hates this school' is what she keeps saying & keeps saying- this has been going on for a few weeks, but she won't tell me why & I have to have a reason to deliberately subject myself to the emotional stress of going to the high school office & signing her out of school. I know, it shouldn't be that big a deal, but it is for me, I never went to high school, I was homeschooled & being in the prescence of so many teenagers & the people who try to keep them in line all day is weird for me. I like the elementary school better but only because of more exposure to it than the highschool, 16 spent all but 6 months of her education from 2nd grade to 7th grade at that school & the other 2 little ones coming up in the same school give me a certain clout although they don't like me too much there because I refuse to attend PTA (I've been known to choose work schedules which required me to work on Thursday nights so as not to be able to go & have a better excuse than 'I hate PTA) Most of the problem with PTA is that most everyone has known each other since highschool themselves & are remarkably clique-ey. combine that with a heavy sense of insular attitude- I'm not from here thus bad, odd, a hippie, out to change everything to my liking etc. The couple times I was forced into it by a teacher looking for 100% parental attendance for a special event I sat alone the whole time & I don't even have a little baby to attend to while I'm there for something to do anymore- which gives you an idea of how long it's been since I attended any PTA function! My 16 year old had a friend who moved here from somewhere else & HER mother became president of the PTA so as to get involved with the comunity- but I'm not an extrovert & I'm not about to do anything of the kind. Much to my little one's dismay (my oldest learned this long ago about me)I think the reason my kids don't have the same teachers back to back is an attempt to keep any teacher from losing the possibillity of 100 % parental PTA attendance for more than 1 year! (It does happen down here- though I know I'm not the only one who doesn't go)but enough rambling. it's just been a weird day so far!

Posted by Becky at 2:31 PM EST
Tuesday, March 7, 2006

***You Are 64% Open Minded***

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded.
Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints.
But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line.
You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

Posted by Becky at 2:23 PM EST
Updated: Tuesday, March 7, 2006 2:31 PM EST
Monday, March 6, 2006
*^%$# Computer!
Now Playing: Nice Shot by Filter
It's a familliar story, happens to everyone & I should be glad it was just what I was writing here, not anything big like if I wrote reports for work or something & it got lost due to the computer shutting down all on it's own for no reason (well, ok, I hit the power button on the keyboard when I was reaching across the keyboard to pick up my bowl of spinach - hey, it's light & fairly healthy & it's better for you than a bag of chips at 9:30 at night. Who ever thought of putting a power button on the keyboard anyway?)I had written a fairly long discussion of the crazy customers I talk to at work, it had gone on probably longer than was neccesary but what I wanted to really say was I talked to a guy today who wants to build an underground railroad beneath the Atlantic Ocean so you could take a train from America to the UK & not have to fly! this is not the only odd thing he said but it was certainly the funniest! well I spent 30 minutes on writing the first thing & am pretty much through with the computer for the evening. after all, I spent 10+ hours in front of one at work too (& it is every bit as frustrating as this one here I might add!)

Posted by Becky at 10:38 PM EST
Saturday, March 4, 2006
many 4's for the 4th
Now Playing: Wish You were Here by Pink Floyd
Topic: Stuff & Nonsense
4 jobs I've had: Housekeeping in a nursing home, (I actually liked this job a lot)- Cook, Waitress etc for a Pizza conglomerate- Getting books unpacked, Logged in & tagged for use in a Library,(I did this for 4 months & could have been happy doing it my whole life except for the frustration of so many books so little time & the fact that the women who worked there were awfully gossipy & mean)- Head Cashier in a discount clothing store.
4 movies I can watch over & over again: The Lord of the Rings trillogy (yes, I'm a geek)Eye of the Beholder. Thunderheart, Moulin Rouge,
4 places I've lived: Hull Mass, Haverhill Mass, Rockland Mass & Floyd Virginia. I've tried a lot of Mass but only had to try 1 place in VA to know I loved it!
4 tv shows I love: Medium - (love that psychic stuff!!) Most Haunted- Good Eats- (Favorite show to watch with the kids) & Cold Case.
4 places I've vacationed: Massachusetts,(every summer now that I live in VA & we allways do at least 1 touristy thing- Plimouth Plantation, science museum etc..) Waterville Valley New Hampshire, (a couple of ski trips there are memorable) Maine (as a teenager I spent tons of time up there with friends for long weekends etc.) Virginia (Back when we lived in Massachusetts)
4 of my favorite foods- Chocolate, Cheesy poofs (nowadays only Barbara's baked ones from the health food store- jalepeno usually) Lobster, Popcorn (with my own special blend parmesan cheese & onion powder blend sprinkled liberally over it)
4 sites I visit daily: Chris-sea's Corner, Ann-is-clever, Looseleafnotes, my 16 year old daughter's myspace. (gotta be a vigilant parent after all)
4 places I'd rather be right now: On a cruise ship after winning publishers clearing house sweepstakes. Exploring the UK. Back in the past...oh, say during the 1770's, (yes, I'm still reading the Outlander series) Right here, RIght now But imagine I never had to go back to work & I had all the money I needed just the same!
4 random observations: Life is a roller coaster & I am not strapped in, The party of the least interest is the party of the most power. (too sad but too true) childrens television isn't what it used to be, not even 10 years ago let alone when I was a kid. Today's date is not just a date, it's a command. (now how's that for random?)

Posted by Becky at 10:14 AM EST
Updated: Wednesday, April 5, 2006 11:47 AM EDT
Friday, March 3, 2006
Annother day annother drive
Now Playing: Keep 'em Seperated The Offspring
Topic: Rambling on

27 miles each way, I drive the twisty way on the way to work, the straighter, longer way on the way home. music blasting, full out, balls to the wall as fast as centrifugal force will allow. I have found, since I moved, that it makes a great deal of difference what time I leave home in the morning, a difference of 2 minutes decides if I'm behind a school bus for 7 miles (untill he turns off at his home -it's my kid's bus driver & as he passes me waiting to turn onto the main road behind him he waves & laughs) or not. It can decide I'f I'm going to chance hitting this guy who drives from his driveway, across my path, to get onto the road to what is probably the way to his work (we've come close 2 or 3 times, most mornings his trucks still warming up in his driveway as I go by.) Wether I cross paths with the county sherrif on his way to work, headed in the opposite direction from me. (we wave) Or if I end up driving behind 2 guys in a 1 ton truck with a wood flatbed who shoot the breeze back & forth & seem to delight in driving 45 mph where I could (& would, if it weren't for them) do 55 or 60 with ease. the only passing zone for 15 miles is right in front of where my road turns onto the main road so passing is out of the question, there's 3 ways to go (4 if you want to go over a fairly large mountain - which I don't.) & then there's the town in the next county. the entire mile & a half thru this town is 25 mph while I'm driving through on my way to work due to 3 schools right in a row.The police are there every day. not just sometimes, every single day. the people who run the store I stop in every day I work think it's funny to count how many people the cops pull over. It has yet to be me & I don't intend to be pulled over. I speed, but not in school zones. I still feel guilty when I see a cop, even if I'm not doing anything wrong I feel like I am just by seeing the blue lights- even when they're not flashing- the drive to work is beautiful in some ways though, there's a couple of beautiful mountain ranges & when the sun is right, or the clouds are right it is something to see. Still though, I'd rather stay home!

Posted by Becky at 11:10 PM EST

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