Now Playing: Hungry Heart by Bruce Springstein
Topic: Rambling on
Ok, so I know I'm not very political, I used to be, but after my ex left just making it through the week became my focus, I was worried much more about having enough food for the kids to eat & how we were going to keep the power & the phone on than what was going on in the wider world, I still voted in the presidential & gubenetorial (is that how you spell that?) races & I watch the nightly local & national news every night. But spending time worrying about what was going on & actualy reading newspapers was lost to me (I actualy gave up the newspaper when I moved from Mass to VA, the Roanoke paper is ok, but when you're used to the Boston Globe, well, I'm a snob!) Then there's the fact that I'm a liberal independent person & I live in a staunchly republican, conservative state. Keeping a low profile is just a good idea, but I was blog surfing (Via Micheles, I just pick a few titles on the blog roll & open them up to see what's there) & I happend on a site which had the following link on it. I didn't read too much of that blog because I got sucked into this link & never looked back:
go check it out, at least skim the first page, there's enough there to get you worried to say the least.
To say it was absorbing reading is an understatement, I immediately began trying to figure out what I would DO if the world collapsed like they're descibing, I live in a house with an electric stove, electric water pump & very little self sufficiency! We have a propane powered furncace but my credit wasn't good enough to lease a propane tank last year & so last winter we heated with a round kerosene heater. It actualy worked out ok, not too cold but they say the winter was unusualy mild, I thought it was the difference between the trailer we were living in & an actual insulated house. But Kerosene is a non renewable resourse. I have to go to the store & buy it & it's made from chemicals which oil is used to process. After reading that site I have made all these mental connections about how we/I live which add up to what the hell would I do if this happen(s)ed?
Not to mention the implicit, depressing, 'what will my kid's lives be like?' question! I talked to my 16 year old about it & she just shrugged & said 'J (current boyfriend) & I will just build a self-sufficient home off in the woods & live independently' I was hard put not to point out the multile flaws in this plan but I didn't want to depress her too much since she's pretty depressive in general & we've been arguing lately about that- How she's always depresive & moping & surly. I made a concious decision When my ex left me in 2000 that I was not going to live my life that way, that I was going to try to be as optomistic, upbeat & cheerful as possible & try to look on the bright side of everything as much as humanly possible. Which is not 'normal' in my family, my mother & all of her brothers are moody, mopey, depressive people & I have watched them all drag through their lives & I don't want to live like that! (the st. Johnswort helps this too!- but I couldn't take it while with the ex because it can interfere with birth contol pills they say) So she's going exactly the same way I was & my mother & uncles are & I'm trying to give her the mental tools to help combat it - it's not all herbal, you have to choose to look at things as positively as possible too...
Anyway, I'm just floored by this article & am actually considering a change in jobs to eliminate my 50+ mile round trip commute. (I want to telecommute but all the stuff I'm finding looks like scams) & there's the length of service thing to consider, I've been at my job for over 5 years & make more than any starting wage job is going to give me- especialy in this area! Rural areas, while better suited for a 'back to the land approach' are not too great for working outside the home for cash to pay the taxes & the mortgage type thing!
Enough of this depressing stuff, I'm off from work & relaxing at home with out any kids, it's been lovely except I slept too late & too long & have a headache. I have a half an hour left before they're back home & I have already done 2 loads of laundry, put away 2 baskets of clean clothes which I folded last night & done a ton of dishes (how we end up with so many dishes AFTER dinner dishes are done I'll never understand) Now I'm thinking about a snooze/book read in my hammock because the calendar & the weather don't know or care that school is back in session!