Now Playing: Hungry Heart by Bruce Springstein
Topic: Rambling on
Ok, so I know I'm not very political, I used to be, but after my ex left just making it through the week became my focus, I was worried much more about having enough food for the kids to eat & how we were going to keep the power & the phone on than what was going on in the wider world, I still voted in the presidential & gubenetorial (is that how you spell that?) races & I watch the nightly local & national news every night. But spending time worrying about what was going on & actualy reading newspapers was lost to me (I actualy gave up the newspaper when I moved from Mass to VA, the Roanoke paper is ok, but when you're used to the Boston Globe, well, I'm a snob!) Then there's the fact that I'm a liberal independent person & I live in a staunchly republican, conservative state. Keeping a low profile is just a good idea, but I was blog surfing (Via Micheles, I just pick a few titles on the blog roll & open them up to see what's there) & I happend on a site which had the following link on it. I didn't read too much of that blog because I got sucked into this link & never looked back:
go check it out, at least skim the first page, there's enough there to get you worried to say the least.
To say it was absorbing reading is an understatement, I immediately began trying to figure out what I would DO if the world collapsed like they're descibing, I live in a house with an electric stove, electric water pump & very little self sufficiency! We have a propane powered furncace but my credit wasn't good enough to lease a propane tank last year & so last winter we heated with a round kerosene heater. It actualy worked out ok, not too cold but they say the winter was unusualy mild, I thought it was the difference between the trailer we were living in & an actual insulated house. But Kerosene is a non renewable resourse. I have to go to the store & buy it & it's made from chemicals which oil is used to process. After reading that site I have made all these mental connections about how we/I live which add up to what the hell would I do if this happen(s)ed?
Not to ment
ion the implicit, depressing, 'what will my kid's lives be like?' question! I talked to my 16 year old about it & she just shrugged & said 'J (current boyfriend) & I will just build a self-sufficient home off in the woods & live independently' I was hard put not to point out the multile flaws in this plan but I didn't want to depress her too much since she's pretty depressive in general & we've been arguing lately about that- How she's always depresive & moping & surly. I made a concious decision When my ex left me in 2000 that I was not going to live my life that way, that I was going to try to be as optomistic, upbeat & cheerful as possible & try to look on the bright side of everything as much as humanly possible. Which is not 'normal' in my family, my mother & all of her brothers are moody, mopey, depressive people & I have watched them all drag through their lives & I don't want to live like that! (the st. Johnswort helps this too!- but I couldn't take it while with the ex because it can interfere with birth contol pills they say) So she's going
exactly the same way I was & my mother & uncles are & I'm trying to give her the mental tools to help combat it - it's not all herbal, you have to choose to look at things as positively as possible too...
Anyway, I'm just floored by this article & am actually considering a change in jobs to eliminate my 50+ mile round trip commute. (I want to telecommute but all the stuff I'm finding looks like scams) & there's the length of service thing to consider, I've been at my job for over 5 years & make more than any starting wage job 
is going to give me- especialy in this area! Rural areas, while better suited for a 'back to the land approach' are not too great for working outside the home for cash to pay the taxes & the mortgage type thing!
Enoug
h of this depressing stuff, I'm off from work & relaxing at home with out any kids, it's been lovely except I slept too late & too long & have a headache. I have a half an hour left before they're back home & I have already done 2 loads of laundry, put away 2 baskets of clean clothes which I folded last night & done a ton of dishes (how we end up with so many dishes AFTER dinner dishes are done I'll never understand) Now I'm thinking about a snooze/book read in my hammock because the calendar & the weather don't know or care that school is back in session!
Yes, so I don't have a lot of time today, I should be doing a lot of things & I haven't done much of anything, mr 7 took some scissors to his head yesterday while his sister was (not) watching him & I was at work. So among other things I have to shave his head. He & his older sister also both need some more clothes to start back to school in. ( Miss 10 is more than prepared thanks to hand me downs & Goodwill!) The pictures are new, cute & take a bunch of space, well the
imacts what I want to do (ie: waiting for the computer or the tv or the BATHROOM!) & I like knowing someone else has care of them, once they get on the school bus I don't have to worry about if they're punching each other, need to go to the bathroom or need a drink of water, I get a BREAK from fulfiling all their needs, wants etc. Heck, as for the drawback, where they're not available to do stuff while they're in school that's the best reason for having Saturdays off like I do- that's what Saturdays are for! 
e your days full and fast-paced?
have one, well, maybe Hexed on BBC.
Man I'm telling you, when I get the credit card un-maxed & complete the school shopping (that second one will be before the first!) The firt thing I'm going to get is a scanner, I've wanted one for awhile, but a monitor was a bigger need, For the moment I have Chrissies monitor & when she moves (it's looking like soon now) I have an old one my mother gave me from her computer which died this year (miss 16 moved heaven & earth to fit both that & the little computer my uncle let me have for miss 16 into the car on the trip home from vacation this year) So the monitor is taken care of & we also have 2 printers, 1 with ink & 1 with out so all I really need is a scanner, the reason I want a scanner is that I want to post pictures from the past on here. You see I had a stack of pictures about 2 inches thick on my shelf, all loose pictures which the kids have used for timelines at school or taken out to show someone somewhere, & have been accumulating on the shelf for most of the last year & today I put them in order & put them back in my albums. So I'm enthused with the idea of putting some 
r than I was tired at the beginning & even more tired afterwards! I was also frustrated that I had to spend a whole day driving when my house was a mess & I wanted to be picking up & getting things straightened out.... Of course I only seem to itch to clean up when I can't do it, by Wednesday I was not interested in cleaning anymore & just wanted to have fun. After doing a little picking up & some orginization of laundry (In a house with 6 people the laundry comes FIRST no matter what) We went swimming (it was 99 degrees easily & no breeze in sight, we had to do something!) after a stop at a friends to pick up some clothes for miss 10 who is growing by leaps & bounds this summer (especially in the mouth department!) Thanks again Jody for the clothes! 
as good for sliding down as they used to be (I'm told, The last time I was there I was pregnant with my 7 year old & did not go sliding at that time) but we had fun! we stayed about 3 hours, there's a sandy area & rocks which are just barely submerged to sit on (if you don't mind a certain slimy feeling) 
me & cook it so we picked up pizza (thank heavens for credit cards!) & went home, after a trip to the garden (the cucumbers are running my life these days- I just wish the tomatos would turn red!) & some more laundry & dishes it was off to bed to go back to the grind!
afe & sound, it's been a long, strange trip & I got sick about half way through it so I'm not really going to get into this right now, I have my usual hacking cough & a sore throat, missed work today to try to get everything put to rights here at the house & to rest my voice. We did get the kitchen clean but not much else - we watched all 4 episodes of Nightmares & Dreamscapes which I recorded from TNT & as a huge Stephen King fan I have to say they were pretty well done. (16 thinks the acting on some of them could have been better) I have a good bit written of what we did on vacation & will semble them into blog form eventually. 
e car next & miss 16 proved herself to be a master packer! Mostly because she was motivated to bring home a small computer my Uncle was letting her have & my mother's old monitor which she replaced this year with a whole new setup after her hard drive crashed. Then we had dinner- can't remember where- I'm writing this all nearly a month later now! & I slept for a few hours & we drove back to VA left around 10 or so & arrived Wednesday afternoon. Home Sweet Home.
eason he didn't show up was that he just moved there & didn't have his island resident status ironed out & couldn't get a space on the ferry!He did state in his email though that we're welcome to come visit him next year on the island. I'm excited- I've barely even been to Cape Cod & have never been to the islands at all. The only Island I've been on ever is Swans Island Maine.& only for a day! 
Then a quick stop at BJ'S On the way in we got caught in a large downpour & so we dripped through the store. Ann feeds 5 + her stepson part of the time & she spends a ton to keep them fed- even at BJs! I was impressed & a little scared for my future with my younger kids! I spend at least $150. every 2 weeks as it is - 10 & 7 are practically bottomless worse yet- they don't actually eat a lot at 1 time they eat often instead! Ann cooked out on the grille for us all 3 nights & refused most offers of help. I think, after not having to go to work my favorite thing about being on vacation was not having to cook! It's funny how little I want to cook considering how much time I spent cooking as a teenager & young adult. Now I only want to cook about 3 or 4 times a month & thats even decreased in the summer! a tomato or cucumber, tuna fish or a bowl of microwaved frozen spi
nach is all I really want in the summer.I have to give Ann credit. While I could feed 12 & have done so before I'm so obsessive that I'd have made a menu & bought all the food which could be frozen a month in advance & probably would have enough food for 3 extra meals! Ann made fast delicious food with only as much forethought as we had in the store buying the food!
e went there. I had forgotten the zen of the NH highway system in which you get on a numbered road & follow it miles & miles just trusting that you're still on the right road & maybe every 15-20 miles if you are lucky you might see a road sign with the road's # on it to confirm that you're on the right road! You just have to trust. I trusted a little too much & ended up on the wrong road. So we had to back track to get to 
ly visible- but its still there & still in some use.
sted which were not where they were shown & quite a few which I knew to exsist were not on the map! I suppose that for a dollar at Walmart you can't ask for much! But to find an underused road in the right general direction would have been lovely. As it was it was stop & go the whole way. Friday night at Ann's was uneventful & pleasant. We hung out, checked email & she showed me this website of really cool plus size clothes called:
