Now Playing: Once in a Lifetime by the Talking Heads
Topic: just letting off steam
If everybody is happy doing their own thing why do I feel guilty that I've been wasting the whole day looking at silly stuff on my computer? All three kids are busy with their own pursuits, no one has asked me to do anything which I've said no to because I'm absorbed in the computer, but yet, I still feel guilty for being on here just messing around- as if I should be doing something which is more productive, house cleaning I guess, that's my mother coming out in me, she's the type which cleans the whole house top to bottom & then sits down & reads or goes online or what ever she's into doing after she's all done! Well I cleaned the house yesterday, you can't tell today but I did do it, even swept the floors! I don't usualy make it that far but miss 16 pushed me into it with the point that we're rarely both home together with out the little ones & we should be able to get the whole house nice & clean together- we did, then the little ones came home & an hour later it was trashed again!
Miss 16 is in her room sulking- or whatever its called when you're not talking to anyone who lives in the same house as you, she's had a bunch of friends who've just gotten their liscences stop by all afternoon, one comes, annother leaves, as long as I don't smell something burning up there & I can hear my computer speakers over her stereo speakers I'm not going to worry too much about it.
Miss 10 & Mr 7 are involved in an 'All Dogs go to Heaven Marathon' which is odd, because I thought there were only 2 movies by that name, They'll be headed out side soon though, because it's becoming a nice day out there & they need to get out & run around.
No one has needed me to do anything all day today, we ran errands in the morning & came home & I've been there ever since, I've been looking at funny pictures & reading funny things
Both of which are addictive, I could sit & check this stuff out for hours, for those of you who are old hands at internet & saw all that stuff when it was new & exciting (yes, 80% of the world, I know) Please bear in mind I have had a computer with internet for only the past 7 months, before that I went to the library to use their free computer time & check email once a week. Its still all new to me! My work has computers of course & I use them daily so I'm fairly proficent in their use, just haven't spent as much time browsing the web as most people have- they have web blocking software at my work so I couldn't do it there either.
Annother weird week, missing work the last day & a half due to sick kids & then on top of that because our call volume will be off because of the holiday Monday I am working tomorow & have Monday & Tuesday off & then work Wednesday, Thursday & Friday instead of 2 days off
, 2 days on etc. I like having the time off while the kids are home from school though, especially when there's annother day afterwards where I can have the house to myself & relax but I'm all out of whack, hell, I've been out of whack since my vacation & have missed so much time since then that I may never get back into whack again! (I hope I do though, it's pretty bad when you work 2 days in a row & resent that even!- i so need to win the lottery which will be hard to do since I never play!)
This weeks paycheck was a little lacking, well really it's that theres too many bills for the amount the paycheck was for!...So I can't really go anywhere at all, just work & back, yes, gas prices are down, by nearly 45 cents in my area (we're supposed to be one of the lowest in the country & after traveling from SW Virginia to Massachusetts with forays into New Hampshire & Maine this summer I agree to a point.) But $2.43 is still a lot of money to pay for a gallon of gas. in illustration, there's a store with a gas pump out front which closed down awhile ago, Chrissie & I were driving past it & the prices out front for gas were frozen at $1.76 & $1.86 & we were struck by how those outrageous prices were actually looking pretty good from our vantage point of $2.87 which is where gas in this area peaked recently. Anyway, I am more than a little worried about getting through the week, or until my payment to my credit company gets posted onto my credit card!
Well, as usual, my day gets completely sidetracked & still this sits, unfinished, I've made dinner, done the dishes, 2 loads of laundry, talked to my ex- aunt in law, picked up a little, shooed kids outside to play because too much tv is bad for them, ate dinner on the porch with the kids because too much computer is bad for me! & sorted out a bunch of craft stuff my grandmother gave me while we were on vacation!
Once I'm through here I have to take a shower, clean up the kitchen, fold 3 big baskets full of clothes, make my bed with clean sheets, watch the news on dvr cause I can't stand commercials & get the kids to turn off the tv again, bathe & go to bed at a reasonable hour (but mom, we don't have to get up in the morning- why do we have to go to bed at 1130?)
All in all, a pretty good day off, if only there was no work tommorow, note to self, as soon as have a discretionary income again, begin playing lottery in hopes of living a life of lesiure & fun!
my vacation posts from my private blog to post them here, they won't be here on the main page but under the link for Vacation 2006. But that's not the same as writing & thinking outloud which is often what I find myself doing here.
g, now I never seem to write in my diary in longhand, too bad in someways, ok in others) If I'm looking for something to write about I can always pluck one off the shelf & start reading & then make it into a story, though they rarely have any moral or reason for being, sometimes they're funny or weird coincedences will occour. Once, when my Ex & I had been married about 3 months I happened to open a diary & re-read some pretty awful things my Uncle & his Wife had said & done to & about me right after my Father died & I got a little irritated with them all over again (this was maybe 2 years after the incident occoured) My ex got really upset with me & said that this was why he didn't think people should keep diaries because it could dig up all kinds of terrible stuff that you would be happier forgetting about. I tried to make him see that I prefered to remember this sort of thing to keep me mindful to not let this particular Uncle & Aunt see everything I felt & thought & to not turn my back on them because they were more than capable of sticking a knife in it! We argued on this issue for maybe 2 hours! Funny, now, I'm sure he'd look better in retrospect if I didn't have 8 years of diaries reminding me of how unhappy I was with him- even if I never did write down how so much of what I was worried about & hoped wasn't true. Was true!
y to take her out of school & then didn't go today to take her to the doctors, strep throat- More antibiotics.
same sex for $100?
ve a lot of free time right this minute & so I can just write at my leisure but I have found that there's never enough time for everything you want to do & so I have stopped even trying to post on my heavy work nights (those are the ones where I work - often overtime- & come home needing to go back to work the next morning, unlike most people that only occours 2 days of my week but I do work a 10 hour day minimum so I take my sleep pretty seriously if I have to go back to work the next morning!)
Mass on the blog & it is in the works, but I'll be past posting it, slipping it in as if I posted it at the time I was doing the things on the blog, my private blog has that info already on it, I wrote blog entries by cell phone & posted with pictures each day either early in the am while the kids were asleep or late in the evening when they were bathing or asleep again. Cell phone posts are ok, but they advertise my cell phone company & they also somehow get all these little mistakes, either I'm transposing letters or for instance every post ends with the last word broken up with an '!' in the middle of the word! So I'm working on combining posts (you only get a thousand words on a cell post) to make a diary of the vacation on here. (working on it means I've copied all the words out of the private blog onto notebook & have 1 line written in my 'retranslation' of what I was trying to say there!- I'm very slow)
ous, But Unitarianisim as I understand it to be is that whatever speaks to me, personaly is what it is to me, wasn't that what all those years of learning about other religions in sunday school was for?)
, Look out! 
ion the implicit, depressing, 'what will my kid's lives be like?' question! I talked to my 16 year old about it & she just shrugged & said 'J (current boyfriend) & I will just build a self-sufficient home off in the woods & live independently' I was hard put not to point out the multile flaws in this plan but I didn't want to depress her too much since she's pretty depressive in general & we've been arguing lately about that- How she's always depresive & moping & surly. I made a concious decision When my ex left me in 2000 that I was not going to live my life that way, that I was going to try to be as optomistic, upbeat & cheerful as possible & try to look on the bright side of everything as much as humanly possible. Which is not 'normal' in my family, my mother & all of her brothers are moody, mopey, depressive people & I have watched them all drag through their lives & I don't want to live like that! (the st. Johnswort helps this too!- but I couldn't take it while with the ex because it can interfere with birth contol pills they say) So she's going
exactly the same way I was & my mother & uncles are & I'm trying to give her the mental tools to help combat it - it's not all herbal, you have to choose to look at things as positively as possible too...
is going to give me- especialy in this area! Rural areas, while better suited for a 'back to the land approach' are not too great for working outside the home for cash to pay the taxes & the mortgage type thing!
h of this depressing stuff, I'm off from work & relaxing at home with out any kids, it's been lovely except I slept too late & too long & have a headache. I have a half an hour left before they're back home & I have already done 2 loads of laundry, put away 2 baskets of clean clothes which I folded last night & done a ton of dishes (how we end up with so many dishes AFTER dinner dishes are done I'll never understand) Now I'm thinking about a snooze/book read in my hammock because the calendar & the weather don't know or care that school is back in session!

Yes, so I don't have a lot of time today, I should be doing a lot of things & I haven't done much of anything, mr 7 took some scissors to his head yesterday while his sister was (not) watching him & I was at work. So among other things I have to shave his head. He & his older sister also both need some more clothes to start back to school in. ( Miss 10 is more than prepared thanks to hand me downs & Goodwill!) The pictures are new, cute & take a bunch of space, well the
imacts what I want to do (ie: waiting for the computer or the tv or the BATHROOM!) & I like knowing someone else has care of them, once they get on the school bus I don't have to worry about if they're punching each other, need to go to the bathroom or need a drink of water, I get a BREAK from fulfiling all their needs, wants etc. Heck, as for the drawback, where they're not available to do stuff while they're in school that's the best reason for having Saturdays off like I do- that's what Saturdays are for! 

e your days full and fast-paced?
have one, well, maybe Hexed on BBC.
Man I'm telling you, when I get the credit card un-maxed & complete the school shopping (that second one will be before the first!) The firt thing I'm going to get is a scanner, I've wanted one for awhile, but a monitor was a bigger need, For the moment I have Chrissies monitor & when she moves (it's looking like soon now) I have an old one my mother gave me from her computer which died this year (miss 16 moved heaven & earth to fit both that & the little computer my uncle let me have for miss 16 into the car on the trip home from vacation this year) So the monitor is taken care of & we also have 2 printers, 1 with ink & 1 with out so all I really need is a scanner, the reason I want a scanner is that I want to post pictures from the past on here. You see I had a stack of pictures about 2 inches thick on my shelf, all loose pictures which the kids have used for timelines at school or taken out to show someone somewhere, & have been accumulating on the shelf for most of the last year & today I put them in order & put them back in my albums. So I'm enthused with the idea of putting some
r than I was tired at the beginning & even more tired afterwards! I was also frustrated that I had to spend a whole day driving when my house was a mess & I wanted to be picking up & getting things straightened out.... Of course I only seem to itch to clean up when I can't do it, by Wednesday I was not interested in cleaning anymore & just wanted to have fun. After doing a little picking up & some orginization of laundry (In a house with 6 people the laundry comes FIRST no matter what) We went swimming (it was 99 degrees easily & no breeze in sight, we had to do something!) after a stop at a friends to pick up some clothes for miss 10 who is growing by leaps & bounds this summer (especially in the mouth department!) Thanks again Jody for the clothes!
as good for sliding down as they used to be (I'm told, The last time I was there I was pregnant with my 7 year old & did not go sliding at that time) but we had fun! we stayed about 3 hours, there's a sandy area & rocks which are just barely submerged to sit on (if you don't mind a certain slimy feeling)
me & cook it so we picked up pizza (thank heavens for credit cards!) & went home, after a trip to the garden (the cucumbers are running my life these days- I just wish the tomatos would turn red!) & some more laundry & dishes it was off to bed to go back to the grind!
afe & sound, it's been a long, strange trip & I got sick about half way through it so I'm not really going to get into this right now, I have my usual hacking cough & a sore throat, missed work today to try to get everything put to rights here at the house & to rest my voice. We did get the kitchen clean but not much else - we watched all 4 episodes of Nightmares & Dreamscapes which I recorded from TNT & as a huge Stephen King fan I have to say they were pretty well done. (16 thinks the acting on some of them could have been better) I have a good bit written of what we did on vacation & will semble them into blog form eventually. 

e car next & miss 16 proved herself to be a master packer! Mostly because she was motivated to bring home a small computer my Uncle was letting her have & my mother's old monitor which she replaced this year with a whole new setup after her hard drive crashed. Then we had dinner- can't remember where- I'm writing this all nearly a month later now! & I slept for a few hours & we drove back to VA left around 10 or so & arrived Wednesday afternoon. Home Sweet Home.
eason he didn't show up was that he just moved there & didn't have his island resident status ironed out & couldn't get a space on the ferry!He did state in his email though that we're welcome to come visit him next year on the island. I'm excited- I've barely even been to Cape Cod & have never been to the islands at all. The only Island I've been on ever is Swans Island Maine.& only for a day!